Retroactive Entry: Scattered Thoughts from Wednesday

5/9/07

I asked Dad what he wanted to do today, and he said, “We need some eggs.” He also wanted to know more about computers. Anchors in the mundane indeed.

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Last night, I unpacked my one and only suit and put it in the closet. There is something surreal about bringing home the suit I’ll likely wear at my Dad’s funeral.

Also, it is hard not to think about how much time he has left. Last night, on one of his shows (NCIS), the next episode is to be continued in two weeks. Internally, I wondered, will he be here in two weeks? Will he be cognizant?

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Dad and I went driving late this afternoon. We were mainly looking for Smokey, but Dad had me stop by some fishing creeks to see where he could best find a place to sit near the water that wouldn’t involve much walking or elevation. We also stopped at Homemade Touch to talk with Karen, who welled up with tears when she got Dad’s news. Dad said that I am home and that “I’ll be his main man for awhile.” Right on.

During our drive, I asked Dad how he was feeling about all this. In a spirit of acceptance, he said there is nothing he can do. I also asked Dad if he was afraid. He said no. He said he knows the Lord. He also said that he doesn’t understand what God has in mind, but he trusts God if He has something else in mind.

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I told Dad I registered for the Marine Corps Marathon today, and he smiled. He asked what I’d get if I win. I thought that was funny. i am not sure if he was serious or not.