Retroactive Entry: Conversation with Mom in March
3/25/07
Mom and I had some vigorous disagreements again (some political, but still theological), but I feel better because after each time, I say I love her and she the same, and we are good natured. I think in person is better than via email because we can debrief like that. Also, at the bus this morning, she told me she loved me and was proud of me. That was small but meaningful.
I asked Mom how she is doing with the whole Dad thing, and she said she is actually fine. She hasn’t cried once yet, even when alone. Dad said that she was a mess when Grandma died, but Mom said that she doesn’t even remember crying. “It is part of life,” she said. Maybe I get my apparent stoicism from a surprising source. She did say she’ll cry at movies. Sounds familiar. And with Dad, he is more emotional… so maybe I’ve had my folks wrong all these years.
I asked Mom how she thinks Dad is taking it, and she said he always reacts in extremes, so at first, he was really defeated. But it seems like his spirits are better now, especially after that night where he gave to over to God and the doctors. This morning, he was very non-personal when I left… he seemed more discouraged… didn’t shake my hand like usual or really say a definitive good-bye. I know in later years, Grandpa hated good-byes, so maybe he is being his father’s son. Oh… and the other day, when I was sitting on the couch to the left of Dad in his rocker, I looked over, and he looked so much like Grandpa. I wonder if I’ll look like Dad someday in that same way.
Mom and I had some vigorous disagreements again (some political, but still theological), but I feel better because after each time, I say I love her and she the same, and we are good natured. I think in person is better than via email because we can debrief like that. Also, at the bus this morning, she told me she loved me and was proud of me. That was small but meaningful.
I asked Mom how she is doing with the whole Dad thing, and she said she is actually fine. She hasn’t cried once yet, even when alone. Dad said that she was a mess when Grandma died, but Mom said that she doesn’t even remember crying. “It is part of life,” she said. Maybe I get my apparent stoicism from a surprising source. She did say she’ll cry at movies. Sounds familiar. And with Dad, he is more emotional… so maybe I’ve had my folks wrong all these years.
I asked Mom how she thinks Dad is taking it, and she said he always reacts in extremes, so at first, he was really defeated. But it seems like his spirits are better now, especially after that night where he gave to over to God and the doctors. This morning, he was very non-personal when I left… he seemed more discouraged… didn’t shake my hand like usual or really say a definitive good-bye. I know in later years, Grandpa hated good-byes, so maybe he is being his father’s son. Oh… and the other day, when I was sitting on the couch to the left of Dad in his rocker, I looked over, and he looked so much like Grandpa. I wonder if I’ll look like Dad someday in that same way.
posted by Bob at 6:57 AM
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